Posted by admin | Posted in My articles | Posted on 24-05-2007
mother “spoiled” so that boys never grow up
“Drowning” in the dictionary as “flooded” means. If the parents “love” flow Smirnov, rampant, it will “drown” the children, that is, the so-called spoiled. Dote is actually a soft violence, is a loss of rational behavior, the performance is extremely selfish. Spoiled in the name of love down to actually selfish, spoiled the purpose is to make children dependent on parents. Spoiled is not a true love, true love is understanding and respect, to appropriate education for their children’s growth.
Doting There are two main characteristics: First, over-satisfied, do not take into account the requirements of the child are unfair, unprincipled be met; 2 is overly protective, unwilling to let the children face the difficulties, encountered a problem and acting on their behalf.
Childbearing and parenting, my mother spent many efforts, combined with maternal instinct can easily become spoiled many of the perpetrators of the mother.
Boys than girls tend to suffer more damage because the boy’s nature is more fragile, more rebellious, more unwilling to be bound, society is asking them to be brave, strong, independent, responsible, caring man, and spoil it These qualities form a natural enemy, enough to destroy any of the quality of the ideal man to become a bubble culture.
spoiled, so weak and fragile boys more
Butterfly is a fine crack from a crack in the cocoon has been painfully struggling, there are good people too harsh, they take the scissors to cut the cocoon to help the butterfly out off cocoon. However, it is premature physical weakness butterflies, wings shriveled, simply can not fly and soon died. Original, young butterfly struggle in the cocoon themselves in the exercise, the body is more robust, more powerful wings, so that after their cocoon to fly off, it is the sinking, full of sympathy for the “love” has killed the only effect of this can be lightly dance of butterflies.
Our boys just fine, like butterflies, to grow into a real man, must go through a painful struggle. If the growth process, as the doting mother artificially deprived of their opportunity to face the difficulties and setbacks, depriving them of their temper and improve his chance, would make the boy feel psychologically weak. In this increasingly competitive society, so the boys with their own survival are likely to be a problem.
spoiled, so the boy’s love even more scarce
There is a much-loved boy, because usually there are good things used to eat, the grandmother of 60 birthday and that it must eat a piece of birthday cake. His father refused, his son guilty of a bar: “let me eat, you eat everyone keep Junior!” A slap to the birthday cake thrown to the ground. Grandma cried: “I love you for 12 years, do not you love me one day right?”
In fact, contrary to spoil and love culture, spoiling the results often will kill the boy’s love. When the mother was not feeling well or ill, the boy will instinctively expressed concern: “Mom, how do you now? Where you are not comfortable?” A lot of mother’s reaction was: “Son, I’m fine, not die, do not bother me You play your “, and even regardless of their body, holding on to cook with your child. Once or twice, when several times, already sensitive boy would not take for granted that her mother is “iron”, and a comfortable, students do not get sick, do not have to care about others, his love will gradually shrink. When they grow old and frail and sick, the need for children filial devotion, they will find that his son is an apathetic parents, there is no love child, sorry too late.
In everyday life, there are many good training opportunities for their children love, been spoiled child become insensitive to the training process, parents often love their children hard of destroyed love.
indulgent, let the boy even more unpopular
Girls (women) is a natural human relations expert, the boy from birth at a disadvantage since the day, doting will be worse, so that the boy had to be more bad relationships behind.
Spoiled boys often make a very high self-centered. At home, the parents turn around boy, he became a little emperor, used to Zhongxingpengyue-like treatment, out of the house, he still wants the same treatment, and always think of only themselves, only consider their own interests, intends to unintentionally offend others, such boys are often the most popular.
Interpersonal relationships is a two-way process, to obtain, must pay. Spoiled boys have been accustomed to one-way request, he would think that others care and help is taken for granted. This boy does not know to pay more do not know what to pay and how to pay, he can not have any good relationships.
Spoiled boy, the scope of interpersonal communication is often very small, limited to parents and families, lack of communication with people of experience, poor interpersonal ability. Once in contact with others encounter setbacks, they will naturally shrink back to the embrace of their parents, a vicious circle: the more a lack of ability to interact, the more willing to relate to people more willing to relate to people, the more the lack of interpersonal capabilities. Over time, will develop an eccentric, introverted personality.
(“Save the Boys,” recently published by the author
On the Sun Yunxiao wrote, Lee Road, Xia Zhao)
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